Rolling Down The River

So, I met this guy.  His name is Patrick and he has a really cool blog called The Spiritual River.

Patrick is a recovered alcoholic and drug addict.  He has spent a very long time dealing with drug and alcohol addiction and has done his fair share of rehab as well, apparently.

I’m not sure exactly how I found my way to Patrick’s blog, but it obviously had something to do with my wondering (yeah, I’m still wondering) if I really do have drinking issues.

Anyway.  Patrick has taken all of that negative energy that he used to channel into alcohol and drugs and is now channeling it into something productive.  Except now, it’s not negative, it’s positive.

I’ve not talked about this here (I don’t think I have, anyway), but I had a pretty tough go of it as a young person and often found myself in – how shall we say it – messes? During that time, and throughout my life since then, I encountered a few  people who would look at addicts or alcoholics or even people who were just having difficulties in life and lay blame.

Maybe the blame layer has never stumbled in that way.  Maybe they had a few good breaks in life and that enabled them to make better choices.  And so, to them, it all seems pretty simple – just don’t do those things.

In some ways, I really do understand this type of thinking.  Because it was this type of thinking that led me to be able to quit cigarette smoking.  I just stopped.  Sort of.

I mean, I didn’t do a gradual withdrawing away from smoking.  I just put them down and didn’t smoke another one.  But, here’s the catch:  it took me several years of trying to put them down and not smoke another one, before I was finally successful.

I’ve known other people – a behavioral modification psychologist friend of mine – who could not do this.  He had to have a plan.  So, he devised a very deliberate and methodical plan which included behavioral modification techniques that helped him ease out of his addictions.  But, at the end of the day, we both quit smoking.  So, whatever works for someone is a good thing, I say.

So, anyway, back to the people who blame.

If you’ve never suffered with addiction or addictive type behavior, it’s difficult to understand.  As with everything, when we are on the outside looking in, we tend to have amazing clarity.  But, the problem with that is that you weren’t there when the house was being built.  So, you don’t know the problems with the foundation. 

It could be cracked and the house could be shifting.  Or maybe every time you walk towards the door to leave, you stumble.  Or maybe the lights go off just as you reach for the handle and then you can’t find it.  But, you get the picture.  There are just too many variables that cannot be known unless you are in that house.

I used to be a judgmental person.  Kind of.  In all truth, I’ve always been sensitive to how other people feel. Maybe that is a female thing.  But, empathy and human compassion has always come easy and natural for me.  But, I certainly have spent my fair share of time sizing up someone else’s life and deciding for them what they ought to do or what they ought not to do.  So, I guess we’re all guilty of it sooner or later.

But, the best cure for my “I’m holy and you’re not” disease, is that I struggled mightily with drugs at a very young age. Now,  I am well aware that we have freedom of will. Certainly, a good argument can be made that I made those stupid decisions  by my own choices.  And I did.  But then, at 13, 14, or 15 years old, just how much fodder have you acquired in life to really be able to make good decisions?  I dare say, not much.

So, in some ways, yes, I made those decisions.  In other ways?  Not so much.  I did it, as the Apostle Paul would say, “ignorantly in unbelief”.  In other words, I just didn’t know any better.

So, Patrick, with his own struggles with drug and alcohol addiction has taken his pain and turned it into a vehicle to reach out and help others.  After all, he’s “been there done that”.  He knows the game, he knows the psychological torment and he knows the pitfalls.  Who better to reach out and help addicts but a former addict? Because, there is something about walking down a similar road that gives you the capacity to feel for others.

I used to be ashamed of my past.  I tried to hide it.  Especially if I found myself in the company of those who had never fallen that low  in life.  I was certain they would think less of me if they knew of my history, so I tried to cover it up.  Sometimes, though, if I felt safe, I would share it.  But, mostly, I kept it hidden away. But not anymore.  Now I realize just how much sensitivity it has given me that others seem to lack when they see people on the skids.

Because of my experiences, I am able to look at a person’s life and see the potential for healing, deliverance and hope.  I am able to understand exactly how people can fall so far down and yet know that God is still able to reach down and lift them up again.

I am also able to see that any life can be rescued from death.  And it’s all because I have been in that place. So has Patrick.  And he is helping so many others come out of that dark place with one hell of a website.

I know you are likely here because you are looking for help with perimenopause, women’s issues or the like.  But if by some off chance you found your way here for other issues – like alcoholism,  then check out his website.  I think you’ll be as impressed as I am.  And tell him Magnolia sent you.

Tagged as: addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, am I an alcoholic, bad choices, bad decisions, do I have a drinking problem, drug addiction, God, God's help for addicition, help with drinking, judging alcoholic, judging people who have drinking problems, judgment, solid foundation