I mentioned the other day that I noticed anxiety brewing in my gut as my office became less home school oriented and more writing career oriented. That phenomenon is still occurring, but I am continuing with the forward motion anyway.
I made a decision this January 2010 that this would be my breakout year. I determined it was going to be the year of casting off old habits and negative self-talk that kept me imprisoned in my chains of self-defeat and discouragement. It has been a very part of my 6-month challenge. Facing yourself is not always fun. That’s what Tiger Woods is realizing these days too.
It’s so much easier to whine, complain, excuse make and generally avoid facing up to all of the things that we do to ourselves that keeps us from becoming the people we want to be or accomplishing the things we say we want to do.
My life has been a curious blend of self-defeat and triumph. There have been times in my life where I ran in the ruts of my mind like a rat in a maze trying to find the way out. There have been other times that I’ve catapulted my way out of the ruts to the highest mountain top. Both experiences have taught me that I’m capable of great success and great defeat. Both usually by my own hand. Anyway.
So, as I’m going about accomplishing what I’ve determined I want to accomplish, I’ve had to come face to face with my negative habits and defeatist attitude that has led me by the hand through so much of my life. It’s been at times a comfortable relationship, because as you know, the older you get, the harder it becomes to change. Not impossible, but darn near it, it seems.
One source of my anxiety is that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I’m not a lone in this phenomenon as we often watch small businesses trying to grow too quickly and they fail on a monumental scale. Slow, focused and determined growth is the surest path to success any way you slice it.
So, in my desire to achieve and accomplish, I’ve spread myself way too thin with my blogs and other writing demands. I write for Associated Content these days, along with a writing course I’m taking and I have 6 blogs. Two of which I’m trying to keep up with and the other 4 are screaming at me to do something about them. I have not been able to.
In fact, I’m hardly able to keep up with the two most active, this one and The Perimenopause Blog.
So, I’m going to have to face up to the fact that I cannot do everything and be good at anything. So, something has to give and I’m afraid I’m going to have to back away from The Magnolia Dairies for a time.
I know I’ve often said I wouldn’t be blogging for awhile and then I end up coming back. Yeah, yeah, I know. But, this time, I honestly don’t think I’ll be blogging here at The Magnolia Diaries that often.
I have no intentions of shutting this blog down. But, since The Perimenopause blog is taking off like a rocket and I’m seeing opportunities open up for me in the writing arena because of it, I think it would be wise if I took more energy and focused it on a smaller target rather than throwing a little bit of me at several different targets.
I wish I had boundless energy and capacity to multi-task like my own version of Octo-mom, but I cannot. I have never been good at juggling too many balls and at 53 years of age, chances of that changing are pretty slim.
So, it is with great regret and probably even greater relief that I am going to focus only on The Perimenopause Blog and my writing career for the immediate and foreseeable future.
I am going to refrain from making grandiose statements about what I would like to do with this blog, because, frankly, I’m too tired and frustrated and have to admit my short-comings. I cannot do it all. Period.
So, enjoy what content is here and please check me out at The Perimenopause Blog. This will be the last post at The Magnolia Diaries for an indefinite period of time.
You may also find me here at Associated Content.
